Tainted Words

The other day, as I was singing with Lili, I started to doubt my recollection of children's songs and their actual words. Were toddlers really being taught to "puke" up the baby bumblebee that they brought home, squashed and licked up? After I "Googled" some of my favorites, the harsh reality came flooding in to smack me in the face....OF COURSE THEY WEREN'T TEACHING LILI TO PUKE UP HER BABY BUMBLEBEE! "Apparently", you bring it home...it stings you...you squish it up...but then you simply wipe it off so Mommy won't be mad at you. Dammit! Now what am I going to do? Lili laughs SO HARD when we lick our hands and then hold our bellies and pretend to vomit. She also loves it when we sing "On Top Of Spaghetti"...which I knew was supposed to be "On Top Of Old Smokey"...HOWEVER, I only know it to be covered with cheese......where that silly meatball rolled right off the dang table and out the door. Finally, there's the Nut Song...which teaches Lili to smack the heck out of that boy who tries to feel her up on the very 1st date! A little too young for that? Quite possibly.

So at this point, I have 2 choices:

1. Continue on my merry way, teaching Lili the beautiful songs that I know and love...singing them with my melodious voice...ignoring the fact that someday she will probably be banned from Preschool due to her inappropriate choice of lyrics.

2. Google ALL songs before I sing them...teach her the RIGHT (but not so fun) lyrics...and know that this will mold her into the intelligent, ivy league calibur student that I know lies deep inside of her even today.

Eh...forget it...the "right" way is the "boring" way...

In case you want to sing The Nut Song to YOUR toddler, here are the words...maybe someday I can even get Lili to sing it with me on video, for your viewing enjoyment!

I'm a little acorn brown
Lying on the cold, cold ground
Everybody steps on me
That is why I'm cracked you see
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a golden nut tch tch

Called myself on the telephone
Just to see if I was home
With myself I made a date
Had to be there by half past eight
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a golden nut tch tch

Took myself to the picture show
Sat myself in the very first row
Wrapped my arms around my waist
Got so fresh I slapped my face
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a nut tch tch
I'm a golden nut tch tch