Miss. Sassafrass

Lili has become quite a sassy little thing recently and to be honest, I have no idea how the hell to deal with it. You see, I have a problem with laughing at my kids when they give me 'tude or get angry. There is something totally hilarious about watching a 1 year old yell 'NO!' (his only word) and throw whatever he is holding on the floor...or a 2 year old say, 'No, YOU pick it up!' in the most grown up, sassiest tone of voice, when told to pick up the toy she purposely threw. Yes, I'm frustrated and I just want to SHAKE MY BABIES sometimes, but then I feel this laughter bubbling up in my gut and next thing you know...it erupts. It is completely and totally uncontrollable most of the time. I'll turn away...seal my mouth closed...but then that makes me want to laugh even harder. It's kind of like a fart. Drew used to tell me that he 'had' to fart because it wasn't healthy to hold it all in and someday he would explode. My laughter is the same way. I COULD DIE...if I don't let it out. I've pulled muscles before in trying to contain my laughter. It wasn't pretty. Anyway, back to Lili...so my 'problem' with Miss. Sassafrass is that she's like Lola (our dog...well, now Drew's parents dog) and she just doesn't care. No amount of bribery and no level of threat can convince her to behave in a way that she doesn't want to behave. I still remember when we took Lola to obedience training and she was the only damn dog who WOULDN'T obey for a reward. You could have brought her fresh, crispy bacon and the dog STILL wouldn't budge. She was going to do whatever SHE wanted...not what YOU wanted her to do. Lili is like Lola's twin, but not quite as furry. You want to put her in timeout? Ok, no problem, she'll walk herself right over. You want to take away the toys that she is playing with? Fine. No attachment there. You want to send her away from the dinner table without her fruit (we use fruit as treats) because she didn't eat even one bite of the rest of her dinner? Whatever, she'll go to bed skipping an entire meal. I have yet to discover what CONSISTENTLY drives this child to listen. We might occasionally get her to react to a timeout 'sentence' or confiscating her toys...but it's not very often...and never consistent. I am sure that I just haven't found the right 'method' for Lili and I'm guessing that's because I haven't invested enough time in devising a plan. For instance, I really like the methods used in Love & Logic and have several of their books, but I find it difficult to think about those methods and the best way to handle a situation when I'm in the moment. That moment of frustration and craziness... So I need to figure something out...because my children are turning into HOOLIGANS! HOOLIGANS!!!!!