Life As A Mother Of Two

Things have been a little rough since Will came home, but not too bad. We've had some ups and downs with managing a newborn and a toddler, but so far we've survived. Will is doing awesome in his new environment. He's a pretty content little baby...doesn't cry much...basically wants to be fed every 3 hours (the schedule the hospital forced him to be on!)...sleeps in-between feedings...has a few short awake times...blah, blah, blah... Drew and I both feel like he's been a lot easier than Lili was, but me being the pessimist, I'm already thinking that it's because he's a preemie and in just a few weeks, he will turn into the baby that never sleeps and doesn't tolerate his feedings. I think my biggest fear overall is the sleep deprivation. After Lili was born, I had such severe postpartum depression and sleep deprivation definitely made it worse. That was probably the worst I had felt in my entire life. The anxiety I was feeling about being a new Mom was horrible and I never want to feel that way again. So, I'm trying to do everything I can to prevent that this time around. In general though, I've always been a worrier when it comes to sleep with the kids (so weird to say that....KIDS!). Lili was never a good sleeper and every time I hear her cry in the night, I get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I worry about whether or not she will go back to sleep easily....or if we're going to be up for a few hours. Same with Will... I hate the unknown! Last night Lili was really fighting going to bed and I think a lot of that has to do with Will being here. She seems a little more clingy and a little more emotional. Drew and I have both been spending lots of one-on-one time with her and trying to make her a part of everything we're doing with the baby. She's doing really well, but you can definitely see that all of the change has affected her...which is to be expected! It's so funny though because every time she sees the baby, she has to give him a hug......so she'll run up to us with her arms open and cries "Ug! Ug!". Of course not only does she have to give him a hug...but she also has to take his hat off, pet his head, poke his eyes and stick her finger in his mouth. I'm usually cringing as she's doing all of these things...unsure as to whether she's going to push/poke/pull too hard........but in the end, she's usually pretty good. Gentle? Not exactly...but she's trying to be! Haha...

Oh...one of my friends was asking a bunch of questions in a comment to another one of my posts and told me I should post about it.......so here goes! Yes, I am now on maternity leave...though I'm working a bit this week to transition everything to my coworkers and tie up loose ends. So, as I have time in-between feedings and diapers and everything else, I am logging in to do that. I will be on leave for the next 9.5 weeks (I lost some time while I was on bedrest)...which seems like a really long time, but I know it's not! I'm sure I will be busy! I am still pumping and bottling and have not tried to actually breastfeed. I did consider it...but with my shortened leave I'm afraid to start and then have to transition him back to bottles. So, bottles it is! The biggest disappoint for me lately with all of this is that my milk supply has gone WAY down. I really haven't changed how often I've been pumping, or how much I've been eating/drinking...so I'm thinking it might be due to stress? Will's pediatrician suggested that I try an herbal supplement called fenagreek (sp?), which is supposed to help with that a little bit, but I'm not sure how long I can continue pumping. She did reassure me though that even if he gets one or two feedings of breastmilk each day and we supplement with formula for the rest, that he's still benefitting greatly. I guess that should encourage me to keep on going even if my supply is low?

So...that's my story for the day! Here are some pics of Lili and Willi over the weekend! And no...she's not throwing the ball at the baby...haha... =-)