My Discovery

After our weeklong trip to Ohio, I discovered something about myself that may come as a surprise to some of you. I am not made for travelling. In fact, I suck at it. I suck at it because I am a homebody...someone who loves their home...and doesn't like to leave...and wants to be there always and forever. Yes, I had a great time visiting friends and family...something I don't get to do very often. Yes, Lili did awesome on the flight there and even better on the flight home...with decent almost-3-year-old behavior in-between. It was me...I was the problem. I was the one who should have stayed home...because I suck at change. I suck at being thrown off my schedule. There I was...worried about LILI...and it was ME, from the start to the very end, who had issues. For some reason travelling invokes an INSANE amount of anxiety in me...to the point of making me want to puke, or just sleep. Don't ask me why...it just happens...out of the blue...for no apparent reason...and makes me want to go home. I don't know if it would be any different if I wasn't travelling with kids. All I do know is that despite the fun I was having with my friends and family, it wasn't enough to prevent me from wanting to catch a flight home the day after we arrived. I hate that I went there and had moments of Debbie-Downerness...and that people noticed. I guess I will have to try harder to put on a brave front next time. Yes, can you believe I am already talking about a 'next time'??? Granted, it won't be until 2020 but hey, at least it's something I'm considering...