Setbacks

This week is a perfect example of how my efforts to make myself a better, healthier person are typically derailed. It honestly isn't about what is happening, so much as how I'm dealing with it. Between the colds running through our house, a visit from Aunt Flo and Will's Sunday night crying fits which hurdled us into a horrible sleep deprived state, I ended up a tired, irritable, frustrated mess of a woman. Did that make me want to eat fresh, leafy green salads? Did that make me want to go to Curves to exercise? Did that make me want to pack my lunches or play Suzie homemaker and cook delicious evening meals from scratch? The answer to those questions would be HELL NO! Instead...I stayed home and continued to be a grouch. I groaned and grumbled, picked up McDonald's and PF Chang's for dinners, bought Caribou coffees every morning and lunch every afternoon and boycotted Curves altogether. Now that it's Thursday and I've caught up on my sleep a bit, I'm starting to emerge from my funk and am kicking myself for letting everything go to hell. See? How I deal with every day obstacles is causing me to continue the fat, slobbishness! I can TELL myself not to let the bumps in the roads get me down...I can TELL myself to resist the inner 'bit*h' voices (as my friend would say) and get my butt to the gym...I can TELL myself that I will actually feel BETTER if I do these things than not do these things...but do you think that makes a difference? Of course not. I still fall off the wagon and I still kick myself for allowing it to happen. I really WANT to change...but obviously wanting and doing are two totally different things. Tomorrow I made a promise to myself to get back on the exercise wagon and not let this week convince me to throw in the towel. I really don't want to give up...no matter how disappointing this little setback was.