I See A Light

...at the end of the tunnel...and it's in the form of a vanilla protein shake and a caramel nut protein bar. Yep, that's right, I have found 2 IP protein packs that are EDIBLE and I actually enjoy them! To simplify things and to eliminate some of the extra stress I have been putting on myself I decided to stop trying all of the other crap they offer and to stick with what I know I like...at least for awhile, until I am more comfortable with the program. This means that every morning I will start my day with a vanilla shake...at noon I will have my bar with a gigantic salad full of only green veggies and oil/vinegar dressing...for dinner I will stick to lean meats and another salad...and my before bedtime snack will be another vanilla shake, warmed up with a little coffee and cinnamon added to it. YUM! I survived day 4 and every day seems a little easier. I'm still feeling pretty bitchy...and I still have cravings for certain things...but they are slowly diminishing.

One concept I am trying so hard to wrap my mind around is the idea that I don't always have to feel 'full'. I don't have to eat until I'm stuffed to the brim. It's o.k. for my stomach to feel empty. I guess I have always thought that an empty stomach meant a hungry stomach...and so much of the time my stomach would 'hurt' with what I thought was hunger. I have had a similar feeling in my stomach all week...but I don't really believe that it's always because I'm hungry. I think some of it is just my stomach being empty and my body being satisfied...and yet my mind not quite understanding that that's O.K. and I don't need to immediately fill it up again.

Being obese and trying to change your life is like one big crazy mind game...I just hope I'm smart enough to win!