Little Man's 'Real' Birthday

Today would have been Little Man's 'real' birthday if he would have behaved and cooked in my belly a little longer! December 29th was the date we were shooting for for his arrival, however he decided to be an almost-Halloween baby instead. I can't believe it has already been a year...14 months actually...and I also can't believe how much the realization of this has hit me recently. I remember sitting in the hospital last year feeling so confident, just knowing that everything was going to be fine and Little Man would grow up to be a healthy, happy kid no matter when he came. I joked about my situation and had lots of laughs around my 'vaca' at Abbott on the mag and my IV phobia. No big deal, right? Things did work out...Will came into the world...plowed through a month in the NICU/Lvl II Nursery...arrived in St. Michael the day after Thanksgiving...and we all lived happily ever after. Of course here we are a year later and suddenly I find myself thinking about everything that happened and getting weepy. As soon as October hit, a date or a series of events would smack me in the face and remind me of something related to my pregnancy and/or Will's early arrival. October 6th was the date I was admitted to the hospital...October 10th they tried sending me home and readmitted me 12 hours later...October 20th I hit 30 weeks, which was a huge developmental milestone (according to the neonatalogist)...October 30th Will decided he was done and coming out no matter what...November 3rd Will moved from the NICU at Children's back over to the Special Care Nursery at Abbott...November 26th they finally admitted that Will would be going home in a couple of days...November 28th we did our carseat test and Will was discharged...December 29th is when we 'should' have been welcoming him into the world...I guess God had different plans! I am totally confused as to why the emotions are hitting me now, rather than back then when one would have thought I would have been a basketcase. Will is doing awesome and I couldn't ask for a sweeter boy, so what's the freakin' problem? Maybe I laughed too much back then when I should have been crying? Who knows...all I do know is that I'm feeling very lucky right now!!