38

38 is now the number of pounds I have lost on this diet...36 is the number of inches that are gone.  I cannot believe I have survived this long or that I am nearing the big 5-0.  I couldn't have imagined losing 30 lbs, much less 38, on any formal weight loss program.  I have always seen myself as doomed.  Doomed to be fat for the rest of my life and doomed to fail any attempt I made at getting rid of the weight.  I think what has made this time so different than the other 4,567 times I tried to lose the junk in my trunk, is that it's the right program for 'me'.  Everyone told me that I just needed to find what worked for ME...but I was so confused by what that meant.  I had tried the Atkins diet, Jenny Craig, LA Weight Loss, Weight Watchers (countless times!), the Zone diet...and on and on and on.  I would always lose 'some' weight, but then something would cause me to stop or to give up.  The weight would come back on and then I would try something else.  I couldn't understand why I couldn't make any of those work...especially when so many family members and friends DID.  I figured it must be ME.  Nothing was going to work because so far nothing else had and how many more programs would I have to go through to find the right one? 

Well, apparently this one is 'IT'.  This is the program for me.  It's probably the hardest one I have done to date, but something about it is keeping me going.  After much analysis, I believe that it's working because I have eliminated the key foods that were causing my cravings.  Being allowed to have them 'in moderation' never worked for me...because I think I was always having more than I should and after having a little, I wanted A LOT.  Now, I know that I can't have them...at all.  There's no middle ground or decision point.  The fact is they are not on the approved list of foods.  Once I have lost the weight that I need to lose, THEN I can have them 'in moderation'...but until then, it's not an option.  Not having them is what is helping me to lose the weight.  Losing the weight is what is keeping me going.  38 lbs is awesome, but I still have a ways to go and I need to stay focused.  I just hope that I can!!