The Insanity Of Life

My house is a sty.  My job is a nightmare.  My kids are crazy.  I'm overwhelmed. 

The last couple of weeks I haven't been on plan.  I guess you could say I went back to eating 'normal' foods again.  I'm within 5 lbs of my lowest weight and every day I find that it fluctuates.  Basically I would consider myself in maintenance mode...that is until Monday, when I decided I was going to start the plan again, just as if I was starting it for the very first time.  I did awesome on Monday and Tuesday...and even today...until dinner...

We had Lili's 1st dance class tonight.  Class started at 5:20, so I should have left my house by 4:30 to ensure I could pick up the kids from daycare, get Lili dressed and get over to the studio in time.  Of course there was a fire at work that cropped up 10 minutes before I was scheduled to leave and made me 15 minutes late.  I rushed to daycare, changed Lili in the classroom bathroom, grabbed Will, raced to dance and arrived with 5 minutes to spare.  The class is 40 minutes long and it was hard to keep Will focused on a 'quiet' activity while we waited for Lili to finish.  Surprisingly Will was NOT the loudest child in the waiting area.  We endured almost constant screams from an 18 month old and the last 20 minutes were filling with screaming from a 7 yr old down the hall who was throwing a fit.  It was mad chaos and I'm starting to wonder if I'm truly cut out for managing extracurricular activities.  It's hard enough as it is to wrangle the monkeys in when we're in public, but then to have to fight crowds and deal with that...ummm...yeah...  I wasn't so thrilled.  Part of me is hoping it was part of that '1st class' syndrome, but somehow I'm doubting that.  So anyway, when class was finally over we went with 2 of Lili's friends, McKennah and Emerson, along with their Moms and Emerson's sister, Delanie, to Davanni's for dinner.  I ordered a salad.  Awesome, right?  Yeah...not so awesome.  I still ended up eating 2 slices of pizza.  Pizza is like the WORST food for me to be around...and to be in a pizza place with all of those SMELLS...I was DYING!  Plus, add the stressful workday and dance chaos to my mental state and you've got yourself one frustrated Mama in need of some pizza!  After I ate them I immediately felt the guilt set in...and I'm STILL feeling guilty........but what's done is done.  I can't take it back, however I did think about puking for awhile there...

Those are the types of situations that I encounter which seem to derail my plans.  I really don't want them to...and I try SO hard to fight them...but sometimes I break...like tonight...  Tomorrow is a new day...right?