A Random Bit Of Randomness

Lots of 'big' stuff has happened the past couple of months, but of course I'm having a hard time remembering it all now as I sit down to write this. I'm also thinking that most of it wasn't even that 'big'...it was just funny or memorable in some way.

Lili is officially potty trained, which I guess is one of the 'big' things. I was really worried about how it would go, but she did awesome! We went cold turkey on the diapers and straight into underwear. The first day we had quite a few accidents and I started having doubts about it being the 'right time'. By the second day though, things drastically turned around and soon the accidents were pretty rare. Now she is a pro and sometimes I feel SO incredibly proud of her, it's almost overwhelming. My little girl is now a big girl...

I've been trying to get into canning this summer and my friend, Celest, is the best teacher! She's done this for years and pretty much cans all spring, summer and into the fall. So far we have done strawberry jam, strawberry freezer jam and bacon green beans. She also did some pickled beets on her own and shared the wealth with yours truly! This upcoming weekend we will be making a big trip to the Farmer's Market in downtown Minneapolis to get the produce we need to make salsa and pickles. I am REALLY excited about these...especially since we all know I'm half Mexican. O.k., maybe I'm not...but I feel like I am...because I think EVERYTHING should be in a tortilla and topped with salsa and jalapenos... Anyway, this weekend should be fun but I'm already sensing it's going to be a real pain the arse. Jam and green beans weren't too bad...but salsa has a lot more steps and I'm pretty sure my lack of patience will become my worst enemy during the process.

Today I started therapy for all of the anxiety issues I described in my last post. It was an interesting session...mainly because I just don't know how she is going to be able to help me. I'm almost certain that the only thing that will truly make me a changed woman is a labotomy. They need to completely remove the part of my brain that is triggering this nonsense. The head doctor found that somewhat amusing. I was also pretty honest with her about my skepticism regarding therapy. I could see her purpose if I was confused by what I was worrying about or if I didn't know what issues in the past might be causing me to react a certain way...but I already know that stuff. I'm 3 steps ahead of most people entering into the world of the crazies, so what I'm actually looking for is someone who can 'fix' me. I need REAL solutions to combatting my anxiety. I'm not in the mood to talk to myself in mirrors, or to dissect every event in the last 33 years that might have potentially contributed to these issues. I want solutions for RIGHT NOW. Yes, ask me questions about my past...ask me anything you need to know to fix me...but I am not going to spend the next 15 years with a shrink, yapping about anything and everything, with nothing to show for it. I'm giving it 6 months and I'm TRYING to be optimistic about the whole process. I better see some Goddamn improvement soon.

Speaking of the word 'Goddamn'...Lili now uses that word occasionally and in the correct context. She has even mastered the conviction with which this word is normally spoken. The first time she uttered the word was just the other night when brother Will stood naked in the kitchen and peed on our floor. Her response? 'Goddammit Brother!' (shaking her head). I almost added my own pee to Will's. Drew and I really need to clean up our act around her...