Transitions Again

Transitions suck...that's just all there is to it. Hell, I'm 33 years old and I STILL don't like transition, nor do I handle them well. I'm pretty sure that my own distaste for the word and everything associated to a transition is why my children may have issues with them someday. So far I can't say they've taken any of them too awfully hard...but there's always a first...which is why I should probably get myself some therapy now to combat this aversion to transition and learn to go-with-the-flow. But is there really a 'flow'? The waters around me are pretty darn choppy......

Anyway, our latest and greatest transition deals with daycare. Yes.......the care of my children for 11 hours a day by people who are not their mother or their father. That sounds pretty awful, huh? 11 hours a day? Kind of sad actually...but it is what it is... For the past year and a half the kids have been at an in-home. They were at a center prior to that, but I swear I was getting called every other week to come pick up Lili who seemed to catch every single bug that ran through the center...and then some. I got to my breaking point with the sickness...not to mention the $2200 per month price tag that came with having 2 little ones in full time care...so we switched.....for awhile... We always knew that our in-home only planned to continue doing daycare until the fall of 2010...which is right now.........so it's not like it was a surprise.......however the sudden impending change hit me like a ton of bricks a few weeks ago and has created an awful knot in the pit of my stomach. We were suddenly faced with the always exciting and 'easy' question of...what do we do next? I have mixed feelings about in-homes...I have mixed feelings about centers...I have mixed feelings about nannies. I even have mixed feelings about trusting myself to be a stay at home Mom!! To be honest, none of them are 'perfect'. What would perfect be for me? Well...let's lay it all out...

1. A bright, cheery place with a mix of well behaved and very polite little children.
2. A bubble environment that is 100% germ-free. No sickness of any kind can penetrate the bubble.
3. Loving, caring teachers who never have a bad day and never yell at my children (unless they deserve it...which they most often do...so I guess this really shouldn't even be on the list)...
4. Healthy meals and snacks made of organic ingredients.
5. Quick and easy transportation of my bubble kids to come see their Mommy and Daddy every day at lunch and spend some extra time with them.
6. Flexible hours.
7. Someone to hand me a fully cooked, organic dinner at the end of every day that is ready to eat as soon as we get home.
8. A place that charges no more than $1000 per month for both kids.

The likelihood of me finding a place like that? Yeah, I know I must be on crack.......like I said though, that is the IDEAL...and no option is going to be perfect...which is why I must accept the options we DO have...and there are several...

1. Find an affordable nanny.
2. Research and interview other local in-homes.
3. Go back to New Horizons (the center we previously had the kids enrolled at).
4. Try a new center called Step By Step Montessori.

Our list dwindled pretty quickly though...for many different reasons...

1. GOOD nannies are NOT affordable. Sure, you can find someone...but most of the time they only want to do part time care for the same price that you would be willing to pay for full time care.......or you find out they were previously a hooker or in-jail for armed robbery.....or they give you the heebie-jeebies and you feel like you would have to install cameras in every corner of every room. I'm not sure it's possible to find a nice, sweet, young woman...who is willing to watch your kids all day, every day.......for modest pay. The really smart, good ones are being hired by Daddy Warbucks...not the Lanes. We did have one possibility come up...someone who we love and who loves our kids, but I was honestly worried that we would push her over the edge. This is a big committment and she would have an annoying commute... I want her to be HAPPY, not put her in the loony bin!

2. The thought of interviewing in-homes made me want to puke. I didn't want to do it on my own, which meant I would need to solicit Drew's assistance.........and we all know Drew. He loves his kids, but sitting through interview after interview to find the 'perfect' situation? I could see the process driving him to drink...more. Plus, from what I have heard from other friends who have gone through it, you usually find 10 lemons before you get to 1 or 2 french silk pies. Sounds like way too much work for a Mom who is already frazzled by life.

3. New Horizons.......it has a very special place in my heart. It was the center Lili spent most of her infancy at.....we love the teachers.......we made lots of friends.......but we have come and gone TWICE now. I've been a little apprehensive about going back. I don't like being the fickle family and I wanted to make sure there would be no hard feelings by any of the staff. There was also one teacher that I didn't particularly care for when we were at the center last year and if Will was going to have her..........ugh!

4. Step By Step Montessori...I heard a lot of really good things about this place......and I have no feelings one way or the other about the montessori method. I'm open to almost anything as long as my kids are happy and learning. The problem? It's new...and different...and out in the boonies, surrounded by corn fields (which totally made me think of 'Children Of The Corn')...and the route I would then have to take to work concerned me, especially during the winter months with all of the snow and ice.

So, as you can see...all of our options were iffy........and so we stewed......and I was freaking out on the inside....wondering what the hell to do... After much discussion, we narrowed it down to 2 options...New Horizons or Step By Step Montessori. We already knew what NH was all about, but SBS was a whole different animal. I scheduled a visit with the director one day and we also attended their open house. We liked it...the teachers were nice...the montessori method seemed like something our kids would adjust well to (or so we hoped)...but something was still eating away at my gut. We actually submitted our registration forms the night of the open house in order to secure some discounts they were offering, but after we got home the worries started flooding in. Something just didn't feel 'right' about SBS...but I kept wanting to force it...because it seemed like the easier option. That only lasted a few days...then suddenly I found myself at New Horizons.......meeting the kids new teachers and submitting paperwork for them to start there full time on August 30th. I felt a lot better after that was done and overall I have a better peace of mind about them heading back to center life. Of course I'm still freaked out about all of the illness...and I truly hope we can survive this upcoming fall/winter...but it's done. The decision has been made and I do believe that this is the right place for us. We are comfortable there and the kids had a GREAT trial day yesterday! Dropoff only included a few tears from Will, who soon after was bouncing around the classroom enjoying all of the fun new stuff to play with...and Miss. Lili had an absolute BLAST! Her teacher said she is so much fun and so funny and couldn't get enough of all of the activities. The only rough part of the day was finding Will crying when I arrived to pick him up. Apparently he got pretty upset when parents started picking up the other kids and was obviously concerned about when his own Mommy would be there. Hopefully over time this will get better and he will start to realize that his Mommy or his Daddy will ALWAYS come back for him!