Damage Control

This morning I gave Lili her first complex.  My Mommy guilt is at an all-time HIGH right now...and it SUCKS.  The story goes something like this...

Lili's best friend gave her an ADORABLE sweater dress and matching leggings from Gymboree for X-mas.  They are super cute and we both love them!  I decided today was the day she could wear them to school.  After helping her to get dressed, I took a look at her and a giggle escaped.  The dress was a little too big and she was looking at me with her big brown eyes...and she just looked so cute.  

I knew when she asked her next question that I should have thought it through before responding.  'Why are you laughing Mommy?'...  'Well, the dress is a little big and it looks a little goofy!'  At that point she smiled and laughed too, making me believe that I wasn't TOTALLY the worst Mom in the world.  I asked if she still wanted to wear it and she said she did.  The dress wasn't going to fall off of her...it just needed some alterations to fit her a little better.  Besides, we certainly don't go to daycare to win any fashion awards...  

After getting her shoes and socks on I gave her a hug and kiss and told her she looked beautiful.  Yeah, the dress was a little big at the shoulders and a little long for her short torso...but she was still my adorable Lili.  I think she can make ANYTHING look cute, though I might be somewhat biased!  

We got to school awhile later and I 'thought' everything that had happened at home with the dress had been forgotten...until she suddenly started acting shy and hanging back.  I asked what was wrong and she said, 'My friends won't like this.'...and pointed at her dress.  At that moment I seriously wanted to stone myself.  What the HELL was I thinking this morning?!?!  As we all know, there isn't much I won't say and while I try to avoid hurting other people's feelings, sometimes my words unintentionally do so.  I have never used the word 'goofy' in a mean way...but I often use it in place of 'silly'.........and when you're referring to clothing choices I guess neither goofy nor silly are appropriate.  I wouldn't want someone to tell me I looked silly or goofy, so why wouldn't I think about that before saying it to Lili?  

Wow...all I can say is wow...  I SO wish I could take back the entire conversation and start over, but that is obviously not going to happen.  Instead, I emailed the center Assistant Director and Director and asked them to assist with some damage control to my daughter's self-esteem.  I asked them to give Lili some extra compliments on her dress if they see her today, to hopefully show her that her Mommy just sucks and is WRONG.  I can accept this as long as Lili knows that she's beautiful.  Despite telling her that again before I left to go to work, I definitely need her to hear it from others today as well!

Maybe my New Year's resolution should be to try harder NOT to cause irreparable emotional damage to my children...